


The Forbidden Floor

by deadlegato



Series: Snake Eyes and Sinners [4]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: I've seen enough hentai, Who gave Pentious a flamethrower, two bros chillin in a hot tub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:48:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27565540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadlegato/pseuds/deadlegato
Summary: Niffty recruits some help to clean the pool.
Series: Snake Eyes and Sinners [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2004868
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	The Forbidden Floor

**Author's Note:**

> I had to work an extremely dead, boring shift today so you all get lucky (or unlucky, depending on your take) that I write... this... when I'm bored. You DON'T have to have any familiarity with the rest of the fic series to understand this one, but it will be relevant to later fics so I put it in the chronology.

"I'm bored," Pentious complained, flopping his upper body across the dining area table and spreading out his hood to take up as much space as possible.

"Me too," Niffty agreed, trying to flop with him but failing to be quite as dramatic due to her smaller size.

"There's nothing left to fix."

"There's nothing left to clean."

"Aaaaaaaabout that..." Charlie said slowly, uncertain of whether she should mention it or not. "There is the... forbidden floor."

The two bored demons looked at her. "It used to be the floor with a pool, hot tub, and gym, but..."

"I love to swim! That sounds like a great place. Why is it forbidden?" Pentious asked, perking up further.

"Because when they closed this place down originally no one bothered to drain either and there's now a jungle-swamp growing on the floor,” Vaggie explained. “It would take a heroic effort to clean it up.”

Niffty suddenly had machetes in both hands and a vicious gleam in her eye. Where did she get those? “My body is ready.”

  
General Niffty walked back and forth in front of Pentious and Baxter, one of whom had volunteered to assist her and one of whom had been forcibly conscripted. She was chomping on a huge fake cigar made out of bubble gum.

"Helmets, goggles, protective outerwear, rubber gloves, scouring brushes, and bleach. It looks like we're prepared. Boys, I don't think I have to remind you of this, but cleaning is war, and war is Hell. We're going to go in there with everything we've got. Some of us may die in the effort, but the praises of their worthy sacrifice will be sung for generations."

"I thought we were just going to clean up a pool. How come there's suddenly a risk of dying involved?" Baxter demanded.

"What's wrong, soldier? Can't handle the pressure? It's time to prove you're a man!! We attack... as soon as the elevator gets us there," Niffty finished.

"Why does Pentious get a flame-thrower and I only get a machete??" Baxter also demanded to know.

"What’s a good question. Where did you get a flame-thrower from?"

"Better not to ask unimportant questions,” Pentious responded. “Also don’t tell the princess, I am pretty sure this isn’t allowed in the hotel.”

The elevator dinged, and Niffty unlocked the doors separating the elevator bay from the rest of the floor with the keys she'd received from Charlie. "Be ready, men. It begins now."

.

"Was letting them clean the pool REALLY a good idea?" Vaggie asked. She was enjoying the quiet time, but she wasn’t sure she was on board with the whole cleaning the forbidden floor idea.

"It's just a bunch of plants, how much trouble can it be?" Charlie asked.

.

"General Niffty, General Niffty, I'm hit!" Baxter cried dramatically as Niffty sliced through the living vines with her machetes and her scouring brushes. One vine was wrapped around his leg, pulling him towards the writing mass of vegetation. "Tell my mother I loved her!"

"Don't give up yet, soldier!" Niffty shouted back. Pentious was backed into a corner, sweating and hoping the flamethrower had enough fuel for this. "I haven't unleashed my secret weapon yet!" Niffty said, pulling out a super soaker.

"How is watering them going to help?! It's going to make things worse." Baxter demanded, still being dragged away.

"This isn't water, soldier. It's weed-killer," she said, taking aim.

.

There were several loud booming and thumping noises from upstairs, along with a distant scream. "Do you think we should go see what's going on?" Vaggie asked nervously.

"I'm sure they're fine. They're probably having a good time playing soldier."

.

"I'm too young to diiiiiie," Baxter whined. All three intrepid soldiers were hung upside down, wrapped up tightly in the vines. Their arms were stretched out to the sides, pinning them in an upside-down T shape. “The vines are too tight; they’re cutting off my circulation in essential places.”

“Myeh, I’ve had tighter,” Pentious shrugged, and Niffty nodded in agreement. “Oh, yes, that’s more like it,” he moaned as the vines tightened up.

"Are you getting off on this?! Oh no. The vines are getting inside my uniform, and I've seen enough hentai to know I don't like where this is going! No, no, bad vines! Naughty tentacles! Shoo, shoo!"

There was suddenly a loud slamming sound as the doors were once again thrown open. As dramatic Spanish-influenced music played and the curtains billowed in from behind him, Angel Dust appeared in a cloud of rainbow-colored smoke and glitter.

"Did someone say naughty tentacles," he asked, smacking the wooden paddle he was holding against his other hand.

The vines turned their attention from their captives to the new challenger. After a tense stand-off, the vines lunged.

.

“So... you... out-fucked the hentai tentacle vines and they died,” Vaggie groaned, not believing what she was hearing.

"And saved the day, baby! Think I might have broken Baxter in the process though," he said, shaking the semi-comatose fish by the shoulder.

“I had to watch,” he whimpered. “I don’t even like anime.”

"Hey, I'm excited about the idea of having a functional hot tub too! So, I just thought I’d help with the clean-up effort. Who knew you’d have to get dirty to get clean?” he laughed.

"... No sex in the hot tub," Vaggie said coldly.

"What's the point of it then?! I mean I get feeling bubbles on your balls is nice, but..."

"Not hearing this," she cut him off.

"Pool and hot tub are all fully clean and working again!" Niffty said cheerfully, pumping a joyous fist as she joined the others in the lobby.

"What's this about a pool and a hot tub?" Alastor asked, having only arrived then.

"We cleaned an entire floor of the hotel so now there's a pool and a hot tub and a gym... and... and... I'm sleepy," she said, falling forward in a dead sleep as Husk caught her in his arms.

"What you say, Smiles and Husker, wanna go check out the hoooooot tub?" Angel Dust asked. “Pentious said he was going to put in an extra heavy-duty filter because so many of us are furry.”

"I'm a cat. We hate water, idiot."

"And I have no interest in being part of undercooked demon soup."

"Your loss," he shrugged.  
  
.

It was three in the morning, and confident everyone else was asleep, Husk snuck into the pool room with a towel. He almost ran smack into Alastor, who was wearing a stripped bathing suit straight out of the 1920's. They looked at one another blankly. "I guess... we both lied about not being interested in the hot tub?" Husk asked.

.

"I have to admit, occasionally that noodle-brained snake does something right, and fixing this might have been one of those times. It is quite pleasant on sore muscles," Alastor admitted to Husk, who nodded. His eyes were half-closed, his body perfectly relaxed. This alone was almost worth the troubles that came with working at this hotel.

It was nice, at least, until a familiar sing-song voice called out, causing them to jump. "Two bros chillin’ in the hot tub five feet apart ‘cuz they're not gay!"   
  
"Hi, Angel," they both said dully.

"... Have you been waiting for us just to pull that?"

"Um, yeah, and you guys really kept me waiting. I almost thought you were serious about not wanting to get some bubble time," he said, jumping in between them and splashing water everywhere.

"... Is that a speedo?"

"Like the one who isn't wearing any clothes can talk. I mean, it is just us three guys here, so we could just let it all hang...”

“NO!” came the response from the other two occupants.

“Why does everyone here hate fun?” Angel asked with a sad shake of his head.


End file.
